“And again we have the Navigators can mu… they’re mutated and they can fold space and they encompass the entire universe in their mind.” (Around 2:39)

Oh really? This must be one of those “secret” facts about the Dune universe that Shitterhood is supposed to reveal.

(He also goes on to plug his new Bible history rewrite and other FAILS.)

Addenda: This is gold:

9:25 “Kevin is a physicist. He worked at Los Alamos, at Lawrence Livermore Laboratory.”

Yeah… but AS A TECHNICAL WRITER. Fucking hell. WAY to edit reality, Brian!

10:30 Brian tells about KJA deleting one of his chapters in House Atreides so he rewrote and reinserted it and KJA didn’t notice.

The Stolen Gospels by Brian Herbert!

Product Description Book 1 of 2 in the Stolen Gospels Series

Lori Vale, a rebellious teenager, is thrust into the middle of a violent religious conflict when her mother is murdered, and the girl is taken to a heavily guarded fortress in an ancient Greek monastery. There, a group of radical women is creating an earthshaking religious text, the Holy Women’s Bible. The new sacred book will include the Old Testament and the New Testament, edited to alter gospels that are detrimental to the interests of women, such as passages asserting that they should obey their husbands, remain silent in churches, and suffer the burden of Eve’s sins.

A third section of the Holy Women’s Bible is the biggest bombshell, the Testament of the She-Apostles. It asserts that Jesus Christ had 24 apostles, not 12, and half were women called “she-apostles.” Eleven she-apostles have been reincarnated in modern times as female children, and are revealing new female-oriented gospels about the life of Jesus, stories they say were omitted from the Bible by male church authorities who decided what to include in the Bible and what to leave out of it, in order to assert the power and dominance of men over women.

The radical women have dangerous enemies, and Lori’s life is in grave peril, along with the lives of the remarkable female apostles of Jesus. . . .

Oh. Holy. Fuck.

Sound kinda familiar? Is it any coincidence that Brian is writing a book on an ancient and secretive female religious order at the same time he and Kevin are supposedly writing a book on the origin of the Bene Gesserit in the Duniverse?

For fuck’s sake, Brian, go back to writing bad joke books.

Or selling insurance.

Or changing beds and cleaning bathrooms as a maid, like you’ve done before. I’m sure there’s a motel with a HELP WANTED sign out front somewhere nearby…

(Book 2 is here. Both are published by KJA’s WordFire Press, their new private vanity press.)

(And by the way, this does nothing to assuage my suspicions that Brian Herbert is actually the evil mastermind behind KJA’s sweaty posterior pulping & pumping of his father’s Dune.)

Does he feel he needs these asshats around, or does he just lack the balls to tell them to fuck off?

Or, best of all, does he really really really think they’re cool?!

Oh Holy Maker, I do hope that’s it!

(Clicky)

Also include any ideas about how I should ask him to sign my copy of Sisterhood of Dune.

As TAZ used to say… GOOD TIMES!!!

Characters and plot are thus beautifully set up, the timing is precise; alas that the prose drones in the usual flat, affectless manner, while the characters for the most part lack personality and distinction.

Ouch.

McDune, sure, but the universe conceived by Frank Herbert is so vast, complex and fascinating that the magic lingers, and even Herbert-Anderson detractors will be hard put to resist the allure.

Please. It’s shit. Even you just used “McDune” to describe it!

This crap has nothing to do with Frank Herbert’s work. The only thing DUNE about this is the word appearing on the title.

And in the results for a Google Blog search, this blog came up second yet again!

The access stats also show that there have already been more than 30 Sisterhood-related hits on this site in just the first nine days of this month. That’s nearly one-third of the total similar hits for all of last month.

Hairy Ticks of Dune is rapidly becoming the wired world’s first or second most popular source for Sisterhood of Dune news!

Ricco Carver: Some guy has a debate going!
Dune – Dune 7

(showing 1-40 of 40)
?40 discussion posts. Matthew said: Hey all, I’ve noticed there are no discussion groups for Dune (none that I can find anyway). So, I’m starting this one to…

Friday at 8:51pm

David James: Yeah, it looked a lot like the same old, same old of the arguments that have gone back and forth over the last few years or so. I figured I’d comment on something I’ve never seen discussed, but of course I haven’t seen every discussion, so I may have missed something somewhere. ; )
19 hours ago

Yes, DaVEED, you’ve definitely missed something somewhere. See the end of this post for this fucking sycophant’s brilliant contribution.

Adam O’Brien: I had a look at it the other day, same old song. They must get tired of playing the same tune don’t you think? They’ll fade away.
18 hours ago via mobile

Unlike you, who’ll keep sucking on KJA’s cyber-phallus until something comes of it? Right. Still here, fuckface. Not going anywhere soon.

Adam O’Brien: There’s more fans of Kevin and Brian’s writing now more than ever.
18 hours ago via mobile

Yes, Adam, it must be a great comfort to you that the world is full of other stupid people you can share with.

David finally manages to find his wind (or maybe he just removed his head from his ass, allowing it to blow free?) and commences one of his trademark Walls of Text:

David James: Most people realize that it’s not going to sound like Frank, that it’s not Frank writing it, that not every single detail will be from Frank’s notes, etc., etc., etc.

No one has ever said that they expected any of those things, moron. But nice savaging of your own strawman!

After all, if it had been Frank that had written these stories and left them behind – complete and intact with all the details – for Brian to find, Kevin’s name wouldn’t even need to be on the cover, just Brian’s underneath his dad’s. As there has to be some creativity on the part of Brian and Kevin to “flesh out” the details from what Frank left them (and therefore join their creativity with Frank’s), then it only makes sense that there will be some things different outside of just the writing style – especially as we get into the more recent stuff.

Um… OK. I’m a bit disturbed by DaVEED bandying about the image of Brian and Kevin mixing their creative juices with Frank Herbert’s (Shades of that graveyard rape cartoon that prematurely sent Brian screaming into his second infancy!). Then again, maybe he’s actually gotten laid since making that infamous YouTube video…

I think Brian has done just as much as he could to honor his dad just as Christopher Tolkien did for his, and Kevin has done just as much to honor Frank as Brandon Sanderson has done to honor Robert Jordan. At this point, the story is “finished”, and they can do what they feel they must from anything Frank left behind or from what they had already written based on what Frank left behind.

Sucking on Sanderson’s virtual weenie now as well? I guess he would know Sanderson, too, though, from those SuperSucker Writing Semenars. (Oh well, they’re friends among friends, it all gets around.)

But… wow: Read that last sentence there again. How in love do you have to be not to be able to see how they are now just milking the franchise till the tits run dry? Dayum, DaVEED, wake up and smell where your head has been all this time!

The ball is in their court and I for one think they’ve handled things well – both with the stories I’ve read thus far and the people and situations they’ve had to deal with along the way. Whatever comes in the future with this series is perfectly fine and I’m sure that Brian’s choice will be the right one.
18 hours ago

Amazing. He’s swallowed the ole hook, line and sinker so far that KJA will never get his virtual pecker free. Damn. Keep in mind that this fucker HAS NOT YET READ ALL OF THE DUNE BOOKS!

Fucking amazing, huh?

I’ll leave it to the interested reader to go through the Goodreads discussion (I haven’t read all of it yet myself), but here is the first paragraph of DaVEED’s revolutionary contribution there:

In all the criticisms and praises that I’ve read both here and at Amazon and many other places, I’ve never heard anyone mention the possibility that when Brian and Kevin came upon the notes left behind by Frank they had found the very characters in those notes which they then wrote about in the two books of “Dune 7″ and that when they went about to write the trilogy for The Butlerian Jihad they put those characters in the places where they would have been for that story in preparation for when they would have to write about what Frank had left them to write about the very same characters in the conclusion, all just to set things up for that conclusion.

The question we have to ask is this: is David James smart enough to have come up with that on his own? Or is this KJA’s latest floater, shit out of his creative orifice in his continuing attempt to obfuscate what he’s really doing—which is fucking Dune and Frank Herbert’s legacy up its ass—regurgitated whole out of David James’ willing mouth?

Today they were enduring another funeral for a dead Sister, one more tragic death from poison…another failure to create the second Reverend Mother.

Crisis. Survival. Advancement.

Raquella didn’t know how many more lives she could justify losing in order to reach the elusive goal. Optimistic and determined, her best trainees continued to believe in her.

And they died.

It is eighty-three years after [snip]

OK… if that’s a real excerpt of the upcoming shitfest… ignore how bad it is and consider this instead:

WE MAY HAVE A WINNER IN THE SHITTERHOOD PREDICTIONS GAME!!!

Remember the “Predictions for Sisterhood of Dune (No The)” page here on HToD? Well, if you go have a look, you’ll find this:

35 chapters, each detailing the fatal effects of trying out different poisons, [as part of the description of how the Bene Gesserit] get from … magic, suicide bomber-witches to RMs. (Omphalos)

Congratulations, Omphalos!

Returning to that potential excerpt for a moment: Anyone else think KJA is ripping off Frank Herbert in Dune just a little there?

“Oh, no.” She shook her head. “They tried and died.”

Come on… do you really think Ultra-Hack Kevin J. Anderson would be above doing something like that?

Over eight decades ago, humanity defeated the tyrannical sentient cybernetics at the key Battle of Corrin. Debate rages over the use of safe machines in the everyday lives of people.

You can see from her first paragraph that Harriet’s English hasn’t gotten much better in the interim. Tyrannical sentient cybernetics? What the fuck?!

First Reverend Mother of the Sisterhood Raquella Berto-Anirul opens the Bene Gesserit School on the rainforest planet of Rossak as a place to teach women to use technology to improve their lot. The Venport descendants deploy mutated Navigators to fly early versions of Heighliners. On the other side of the argument is the Butlerian opposition, led by Manford Torondo and Swordmaster Anari Idaho, against technology as being dangerous. Soon everyone will have to pick a side as a human civil war over machinery seems imminent.

Compare that with these sentences from the current Amazon Product Description: “Raquella Berto-Anirul has formed the Bene Gesserit School on the jungle planet Rossak as the first Reverend Mother.” “The descendants of Aurelius Venport and Norma Cenva have built Venport Holdings, using mutated, spice-saturated Navigators who fly precursors of Heighliners.” “The Butlerian movement, rabidly opposed to all forms of ‘dangerous technology,’ is led by Manford Torondo and his devoted Swordmaster, Anari Idaho.” (Note particularly how convoluted Harriet’s version of that last is.)

This is an exciting, fast-paced but thin Dune science fiction thriller as two diametrically opposite visions of the future surface even eighty plus years since the war against the machines. With what is going on in DC, Brian Herbert and Kevin J. Anderson provide a timely tale built on the premise that idealism without pragmatism can turn into uncompromising tyranny.

Harriet Klausner

Ah, a scifi review WITH political commentary! Yes, Harriet, I’m sure that KJA had in mind what’s going on in Washington now when he dictahiked this sucker on some mountain path over a year ago.

Thanks for going through the motions, but really, you shouldn’t have bothered. Again.