Posted By SandChigger on January 2, 2012
We always figured that someday Kevin J. Anderson would be the one whose hubris enabled him to attempt rewriting [read: ass-raping] the Bible the way he has been doing to Dune over the last decade. But it was actually Brian, the quiet, almost non-existent one who had his eye on the Good Books saggy buttocks!
Product Description Book 1 of 2 in the Stolen Gospels Series
Lori Vale, a rebellious teenager, is thrust into the middle of a violent religious conflict when her mother is murdered, and the girl is taken to a heavily guarded fortress in an ancient Greek monastery. There, a group of radical women is creating an earthshaking religious text, the Holy Women’s Bible. The new sacred book will include the Old Testament and the New Testament, edited to alter gospels that are detrimental to the interests of women, such as passages asserting that they should obey their husbands, remain silent in churches, and suffer the burden of Eve’s sins.
A third section of the Holy Women’s Bible is the biggest bombshell, the Testament of the She-Apostles. It asserts that Jesus Christ had 24 apostles, not 12, and half were women called “she-apostles.” Eleven she-apostles have been reincarnated in modern times as female children, and are revealing new female-oriented gospels about the life of Jesus, stories they say were omitted from the Bible by male church authorities who decided what to include in the Bible and what to leave out of it, in order to assert the power and dominance of men over women.
The radical women have dangerous enemies, and Lori’s life is in grave peril, along with the lives of the remarkable female apostles of Jesus. . . .
Oh. Holy. Fuck.
Sound kinda familiar? Is it any coincidence that Brian is writing a book on an ancient and secretive female religious order at the same time he and Kevin are supposedly writing a book on the origin of the Bene Gesserit in the Duniverse?
For fuck’s sake, Brian, go back to writing bad joke books.
Or selling insurance.
Or changing beds and cleaning bathrooms as a maid, like you’ve done before. I’m sure there’s a motel with a HELP WANTED sign out front somewhere nearby…
(Book 2 is here. Both are published by KJA’s WordFire Press, their new private vanity press.)
(And by the way, this does nothing to assuage my suspicions that Brian Herbert is actually the evil mastermind behind KJA’s sweaty posterior pulping & pumping of his father’s Dune.)Tweet