Kevin’s Most Precious Twitter Twat Yet!
Posted By SandChigger on April 6, 2009
TheKJA
I enjoy the company of my characters, even the villains. And if they don’t behave…well, hungry sea monsters always need feeding.
about 1 hour ago from web
Gawd … doesn’t that almost read like something HypoKantele or Her Imperial Highnose Irulaurilaniya might post? Ooh, just gives me shivers at how cute it is!
About seven hours before the above he had posted this:
I love plotting, love writing first draft, love polishing later drafts, but the first edit is always hardest. Only 118 more chapters to do.
about 8 hours ago from web
Yeah, right. Plotting = daydreaming and scribbling notes. “Ooh, what if a giganticohumongous mutant sea monster swallows the whole city?! And then Superman gives Batman a wedgie!” Writing first draft = wandering around in the woods watching squirrels humping while trying to ignore the noise made by a stupid human babbling into a recorder. Polishing later drafts = patting self on back after most of the hard stuff is done.
Yeah, I can see why he LOVES those things: there’s no real work involved, is there? (At least the way he does it.) And that’s why he hates “the first edit”: not only is it REAL WORK (or, at least, should be), but it also means he has to face the reality that he really doesn’t hike out “perfect prose” after all.
GO TheKJA!
Tweet
Does the book have more chapter than pages? lets see, 118+ x 3 page chapter, 354 pages? too short for KJA. 471 pages if the chapter have 4 pages, 589 pages if they average 5 pages….
471 sounds about right… and 4 pages per chapter is typical from what i can remember.
The “misbehaving characters” post really baffles me. Is KJA trying to be funny? Cute?
Some authors would see twitter as an opportunity to give readers insight into the writing process. I guess KJA doesn’t have anything insightful to say about his, so he resorts to meaningless throwaway comments like this.
I have to say, KJA’s twats tend to confirm the worst of what I think about him as a writer, and what I suspect of him as a person. He’s not just a talentless hack, he’s a jerk. TOR should pull the plug on this *now*.
HBJ
I wonder if he’s not trying to allude to that experience you’ve probably seen other (REAL) writers refer to, when their characters seem to come alive on the page and take control of the action. I can’t imagine that he has really ever experienced it, always out hiking about somewhere, but I can believe that he wants people to think he, too, has shared in it.
But yeah, if the hungry sea monsters bit isn’t him trying to be cute, God should drop a rock on him for whatever other unclean thoughts motivated him to post it.
Disgusting!
Yeah, he enjoys all TWO of his characters:
Good guy: always good, no shades of gray;
Bad guy: always bad, no shades of gray.
He also enjoys the fact that they NEVER change or develop.